Corvette: OT: dave's answers about Religon

There has been a considerable call for dave to tell the truth about
his weird beliefs. Which doesn't seem to be forthcoming in any great
hurry. In the interests of facilitating matters I have decided to
jump the gun and help him out.


Q: What is the principle evidence for Creationism?
A: The Holy Bible, of course. After all, is it likely that the
author of the Universe would be mistaken about its age?

Q: But isn't the Bible religion and not science?
A: Truth is truth. It's a poor sort of science that ignores truth.

Q: But isn't there a lot of evidence for evolution?
A: Not really, most of it is from university professors writing
papers for each other. If they didn't write papers they
wouldn't have jobs.

Q: How big was Noah's ark?
A: Big enough.

Q: But what about radioactive dating?
A: Hey, everybody knows that stuff is bad for you. Stick with good
Christian girls.

Q: What about the fossil evidence?
A: The real fossils are university professors writing papers for each
other.

Q: Is there any other evidence for Creationism besides the Bible?
A: Yes.

Q: Can you give us some?
A: Yes.

Q: Could you give us a specific example?
A: Yes.

Q: What is a specific example of evidence for Creationism?
A: I've already answered that question.

Q: What about the Antarctic ice core data?
A: Now I put it to you. Coop up a bunch of men in a Quonset hut in
the worst weather in the world, with nothing to do but gather
data and drink, and what do you expect?

Q: Did the dinosaurs co-exist with man?
A: Look, the liberals were preaching co-existence with the
Communists, and you saw what happened to them.

Q: Should Creationism be taught along with Evolution in the schools?
A: Creationism should be taught instead of Evolution in the schools.

Q: Doesn't the Geologic Column prove that the Earth is very old?
A: The geologic column proves that some things are on top of other
things and some things are underneath other things. But we
already knew that, didn't we.

Q: Hasn't Evolution been demonstrated in the laboratory?
A: Students are demonstrating everywhere these days. To their shame,
many professors are demonstrating also.

Q: Aren't Hawaiian wallabies an example of Evolution in action?
A: No.

Q: Why not?
A: Because they aren't.

Q: What is a kind?
A: A kind is cards of the same rank. Thus 4 aces and a king are four
of a kind, but four spades and a heart are not.

Q: Doesn't genetic variation indicate that life has been going on a
long time?
A: Let's be up front about this. That's deviation, not variation,
and yes, there is a lot of deviancy out there. That just shows
that there has been a lot of Sin since the garden of Eden.

Q: What about Neanderthal Man?
A: Hey, you take one of those geezers and put him in tweeds and give
him a pipe and he could be a professor anywhere.

Q: Some scientists state that the earth's continents are drifting
around on top of a molten interior which has shaped life as we
see it now. Are they right?
A: As you well know the Bible says that beneath the surface of the
earth is Hell where there is eternal fires and brimstone. If
the continents appear to be moving around that is Satan's doing.

Q: Why do almost all of the scientists believe in Evolution?
A: The real scientists don't. As for the rest of them, that's a very
good question, isn't it?

Q: Are you talking about a Satanic conspiracy?
A: Did I say anything about a conspiracy? You might want to think
about the shape the world is in since the Evolutionists and the
Liberal Humanists captured academia and Evolution is hand in hand
with Godless Communism and crime in the streets but I certainly
wouldn't want to say anything about a Satanic conspiracy. I just
want you to think about it with an open mind.

On Fri, 24 Oct 2003 19:11:40 GMT, "Diode" <com> wrote:
 

Yeah either that or his imaginery gay lover. Either one would work.